Ask-a-Nurse {Part III}

It's been awhile since the last edition of Ask-A-Nurse and I feel duty-bound to not let that happen again. if you want to read past Ask-a-Nurse posts you can find them here and here
I am concerned about your health.
I am concerned for your welfare.
And I am here for you. sniffle {wiping tears away}
I've been off work for a couple of weeks and it looks as though that will stretch for another couple of weeks.
You can read about that here just in case you are unable to sleep cuz you're so worried.
In an effort to retain my skillz as a super ninja nurse I'm keeping my skillz sharp by answering your questions.

Question #1 comes from Connie.
She asked a question months ago and I'm so sorry for the delay.
She was wondering which color of M&M was the healthiest. She was sure it was green but wanted to check with me for reassurance. Well Connie, I certainly hope you haven't been eating green M&M's! We all know what that leads to. I bet you thought that because it was green it could be considered a vegetable. Well, this isn't true.
The answer is that the brown M&M's are the healthiest. Chocolate is brown.
Therefore brown M&M's have no artificial color.
Also chocolate does come from the cacao bean. And we all know that beans are a great source of protein. We put that in our food storage. In case you ever run out of M&M's you could always eat beans and it would be just as satisfying. Really!

Question #2 comes from Kado. Cadance wanted to know what she should do for the vaccine for the H1N1 flu. She was worried because the vaccine is made from chickens and she's a vegan. Well, dear sweet silly Candance. Let me explain.
Chickens eat lettuce, spinach, radishes, apples and all sorts of other healthy items.
Therefore your H1N1 vaccine is made from a very healthy chicken. I shouldn't think you should need to worry any further.
(I'm not a vegan by the way. I hope we can still be friends.) I chose not to become a vegetarian when I saw a cow pooping in the pasture.

I had a profound realization that my food was pooping on your food.
That's all it took.

Question #3 comes from Mary. She used to be my boss. I miss her. She ruled with an iron fist around that ER, we were marching in military formation at the butt-crack of dawn. Anyway, back to her question. She asks what is the cure for insomnia.

WHAT? What do you mean insomnia? You aren't the ER manager anymore, what could you possibly be staying awake worrying about?
OK, I'm not bitter that you defected from the ER, really I'm not.....bitter.
Anyway I recommend a Mediterianian Cruise.
Oh, ya, I remember you've already taken my advice on this one and have one scheduled for May. But I'm not bitter or anything.
OK moving on.

The last question comes from Kristina. She recently returned from a Disneyland trip and her question was about weight loss. She was wondering if she would be able to keep her fabulous bikini figure by following the churro diet. My answer is yes. As long as you eat 43 of them. And I understand that snuggies are very slimming. And speaking of snuggies....she is 2 snuggies away from her goal of Snuggies for Seniors. Please head over and help her out.

Well, that wraps it up for this edition of Ask-A-Nurse. I hope your burning questions have been answered.
Be sure to send me your questions and I'll be glad to answer them in my next edition. Remember, no question is too difficult for me to answer...or make fun of!