Sunday, June 11, 2017


I have been so absent lately and there are so many things I want to make sure I write about.

So things will be completely backwards ....
I'm going back in time....

6 months ago.

Because I have printed my blog into a book for many years (9 to be exact) I wanted to be able to print it out again. To be able to record the most heart-wrenching and miraculous event of my life.

So here goes.....

The previous posts are "cut and pasted" from Facebook.
That was my mode recording the events.
For some reason Blogger would not work from my phone, it shut down.
Facebook was the best way for me to keep family and friends informed.

So to learn more about what we went through, go back to December 6, 2016

It was a very raw experience.

Thursday, December 15, 2016


My son took this picture yesterday afternoon. 
The entire day for me was incredibly stressful.

Because I KNOW the statistics.
Being an ER nurse was a blessing and a curse.
It was a blessing because this stuff wasn't foreign to me.
It was a curse because I know all the things that can and do go wrong.
As an ER nurse I know just enough to scare me. When I did work at EIRMC I took care of Open Heart patients. I know what can go wrong. I couldn't keep my mind from going to the scary places.
The overwhelming relief and gratitude when the surgeon finally came to talk to us and tell us about the surgery was too much for me. After he left the room I broke down and sobbed and sobbed. 
So thankful. So thankful.
I'm sure there are words in heaven reserved for the angels that would describe what I feel.
I know what I see in the ER when we get a patient that has had a cardiac arrest.
I know the statistics.
I know that even with bystander CPR only about 10% survive. Being neurologically intact is only 8%. 
With bystander CPR and early defibrillation those statistics raise to 30%.
Howie is a miracle. He has beaten the odds by leaps and bounds.
I know what I have seen in the ER.
So if I am little bit (or a lot) over the top on Facebook with every silly little picture or post or every little step forward... it's because I know.
And so when I finally got to see him for the first time after surgery I just had to feel his heart. 
And kiss his heart.
He is my world.
And for my blog, I know there are more posts in one week than I have done all year, but I don't ever want to forget the feelings and the miracles we have witnessed. It has been so amazing. The prayers and fasting and expressions of love.
I have felt the presence of angels and people around us were angels.

And I knew that when Howie is awake and aware enough, when he goes through all the Facebook posts that I posted he will be unhappy.  He's a very private person, in fact the kids said to me, "he's gonna be ticked". Well, for me it was the best way to let people know how he was doing. He has a large family, he works all over the country and we have some of the best friends in the world.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

My First Look

My son took this picture and sent it to his wife. She posted it on Facebook.
My first thoughts upon seeing him, I just wanted to kiss his heart. I was so thankful.
So very thankful.
I couldn't control my emotions one more second.
This man is my world.

Image may contain: 1 person, indoor

 He was extubated about an hour after the first picture.

He is such a superstar!
He was having a hard time staying awake....that's ok.
Sleep handsome man, sleep.


I'm finally in control of myself. I think I have held my breath for a week and a day.
We haven't seen him yet. He's in the ICU. We are waiting.
Such gratitude and relief. 
So very thankful.
Thank you so much. All of you. For your encouragement and helping hold me together. And most of all for loving my husband. 
So thankful to a Heavenly Father for allowing us this miracle.
I haven't stopped sobbing. 
Thank you for indulging me in putting this "out there". I think it helped me to hang on to some sanity.
I'd like to say I'll stop posting and leave Facebook alone ... but that would be a lie.
Thank you. 
Thank you.

And We're Off!

The kids crowded into the elevator.
They let me go into the OR holding area where they started a new IV and
gave him some sleepy-time medication.
Then we were banished to the ICU Surgical waiting room.
These kids kept me entertained.
This helped keep my mind off of things.
We are missing Cameron who couldn't be there.

Finally an update

They are just starting the 4th graft. They said he is doing well.
He went into surgery around 8:30 AM and finally got out around 3:30!
The wait seemed like forever.

Nate's Early Morning Workout

Our son Nate Egan came home last night. He stayed at the house in Rexburg so he could go to Teton Crossfit and get a workout in, in honor of dad. He's a muscular kiddo. Always has been. 
I guess he wanted to see if he could outdo the "old man". 
From all reports it sounds like he rocked it.
However I'm told from Jennica Watson Hirrlinger that he may not be able to lift his arms to eat or brush his teeth tomorrow.
Thanks for the comic relief this morning.
Thanks to all the Teton Crossfit family for making him feel welcome and doing a workout in honor of Howie.
Thanks for your love and prayers.

Jeff Fullmer's Post

From my cousin's Facebook page:

Thinking of Howard Egan on my chilly snow covered trail run this morning. 
The miles were not as long, the cold not as bitting. The hills not as steep and the darkness lessened. The wind was quiet as the snow glistened in silence. The only noise was the crunching of my shoes against the hardened snow. Howard's gentle voice echoed in my mind and kept me company as I pictured him smiling on a cold dark morning trail run.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet family today Tauna Egan. We will patiently await the good news we hope to come. 


When the members of Teton Crossfit set up the gofundme, we knew that we didn't need it.
We have very good health insurance.....thank goodness!

Anyway, I told Tyler...the one that set up the buy an AED with the money.

Many cardiac arrests occur at gyms.

So we wanted Teton Crossfit to have their very own AED.

With a sudden cardiac arrest the live saving measures are..

Early recognition
Early and effective CPR
Early defibrillation.

Those things saved Howie's life.

So in the end they did purchase an AED for Teton Crossfit.

But I loved the people that were taking pictures of them in their #HowardStrong t-shirts.
It made my day!
We love you.

The people from Howard's work, this was taken about a month after his cardiac arrest.

Nate and Sara
And then these heroes.
The ones that literally saved his life.
They performed CPR while they waited for the ambulance to arrive.
When the ambulance got there they defibrillated his heart. 

I will be grateful for you forever.