Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A letter to the BIGGEST LOSER

Imagine, if you will, a highly polished surface, clear, glassy and very shiney.
Then add to that an entire ton of cooking oil, applied to that previously described surface.
AND THEN apply a liberal dose of Lemon Pledge. (cuz it smells good)
This is a surface so smooth and clear and glistening that you could look into it and apply makeup. Or pluck out stray chin hairs
What I have described for you is not a magnified mirror. Nope! What I have described are the roads in my part of the country today.
We had no less that 10 MVA's come in by ambulance or private car within about a 3 hour block of time! I ran my fanny off I'm hear to tell ya! OK I obviously didn't run it off since it's still amply there.

And to the mid-20 year old person from another state that shall remain anomymous who complained bitterly that THIS "stupid" state probably could afford to put down a little sand. (yes he really did say stupid) Who further went on to insult my fair state and pretty much everyone that has ever passed through this state. I'm sure you are a very good driver as you're driving without your seatbelt and were doing just fine passing all the other cars that had rolled or had run off the road. Yes, I'm pretty sure you were in a hurry and that's why you were in the passing lane going mach 50 and yes I'm sure that idiot in front of you really should have gotten out of your very important way.
I just have one thing to say to you as you are lying on my gurney in a C-collar, on a backboard, strapped down....with your clothes cut off...I love scissors...."Sir, I'm sorry you were so inconvenienced today by the snow storm. It must be a real bummer for you to have run off the road, smashed your car and now have to get a citation from some of those officers from my fair state because of your "awesome" ninja driving skills. It's fortunate that you only caused 1 person to run off the road. I just want you to remember a couple of things here:"
#1. There were a bunch of people that got from point A to point B and stayed on the road.
#2. I am the one with the ninja scissors! I ain't afraid to use them.
#3. My mother does NOT wear Army boots. (However, my son does and I'm proud of it)

"So dear loser sir. In the future, do us all a favor and stay off the roads.

That is all.
Nurse Pirhana (rhymes with Tauna)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I've been absent of late.....

I received this fabulous book in the mail.
I couldn't put it down!
I didn't clean, cook or do anything in the last several weeks!
It was one of the best reads EVER
You are the sweetest Southern Belle!

It was so exciting and spell-binding.
I couldn't wait to see how it ended!
You'll never guess what I got!????
I GOT A NEW CAR!!!!!!!
{squeal here}
It was so exciting!
I've NEVER had a new car before.
Personally I think I look pretty hot with this car.

Don't you agree?
Thanks so much Cherie! Bloggy friends are so kind and thoughtful! She knows my taste in cars!

In other news, I have been busy. I am taking a photography class in a nearby city for the next 8 weeks. I'm loving that.
I'm also taking a Cricut class for the next 4 weeks in that same nearby city.
because kids are out of the house
because my better half is no longer bishop
I find myself with a bit more time.
I would hate to be bored.
I have decided to start getting more involved with card-making and scrapbooking.
Thank goodness I have a new car to get me to all my classes.
Now my better half wishes I would start making some Pioneer Woman food! {I'm not THAT bored!}

Sunday, January 10, 2010

My car is from Satan

Yes, I said Satan.
Not Santa.
My better half left last week for the first of many trips that will happen this year. Boo!
It seems like everytime he leaves something breaks or gets clogged or leaks in the house.
One time it was potato peelings vs. garbage disposal. He was gone. What do I do? Call the neighbors?
Nah, that won't work. They call him. He's installed water heaters, dishwashers, that sort of thing for the neighbors.
He's the jack-of-all-trades.
A do-it-yourselfer.
When our youngest was 3 years old, she was watching him do some house project and said, "he's the fixer-man."
We've had car troubles, pipe leaks all kinds of stuff go wrong. It seems to happen when he's gone.
Did I mention we would frequently have car troubles...
a lot.
A few years ago, I woke up early in the morning to get ready for work.
My better half was out of town again.
I walked a few steps into the hall and stepped in a deep pile of water.
From the washing machine.
That's it!
That's the last straw!
All by myself, I went to an appliance store and bought a new washer and dryer!
It felt good!
It was in and working by the time he returned from that business trip.
I told him that from now on if he's gone and something breaks I'm getting a new whatever.
A few months later he was on another business trip.
Guess what broke???!!!
The carpet!
Yes, it's true.
My carpet was broken!

So I went and bought new carpet. He was fine with that, it was money I had saved. The bad part...
I had to wait until he had time to lay it.
I'm such a slave driver
Now for our ongoing latest nightmare.
Our car.
Our car is a lemon.
It's a lemon grove.
It's the lemon of all lemons.
It's the Martha Stewart of lemons.
He's fixed and repaired and babied this thing along for 6 years.
The lemon is paid for.
It's still a horrid, evil, hateful car!
Is there any question about how I feel about the car?
He returned from a business trip on Friday night about midnight.
He had car trouble..
at the airport...
it required a tow truck.
It's way past time to put the hunk of junk out of our misery!

Yes, that is my car.

(and yes, that is a real officer of the law...)
Not sure what he is going to decide to do to with car.
My hubby's attitude of "use it up, wear it out, fix it up or do without" has got to go! Honey, it's used up, worn out, been fixed up. I will do without.
Please for the love of all that is sane. Don't fix that (#*&$(#*^&)$&#
Can I live with one car?
Can I walk to work in the depths of winter?
The answer is YES!!!!
I don't want to spend one more red cent on that piece of %#$@&^%%
(Legal disclaimer:
Just so ya know, no cars were actually shot and permission was obtained from the higher ups to have an officer point a weapon at my car. No animals or Llamas were injured in the making of this post)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Sounds of Silence

That's what is in our house right now.
We didn't have any of the family here for Christmas except the two unmarried ones. It was quiet.
They all came home for New Years.

I made my kids pose in front of the Christmas tree just like I did when they were little.
They haven't matured much.
Gifts were exchanged.
There was Rock Band.

Rock Band is now back at the house it belongs at......not mine!
There were gifts of snuggies

Kristina will be so proud!

There was A LOT of food, ie. crab legs, prime rib, treats and more treats.
There were a lot of darling grandkids here. I'm not braggin' or anything, but there are 7 of them!

I tried to do a cute picture with all of them in a picture frame....they weren't cooperating too much. I decided that taking pictures of kids was like herding cats.
It's not a perfect photo op, but I think it fits us perfectly!
It snowed!

It was beautiful!
We went sledding!

It was fun
We also had fireworks.

My better half goes out of town tomorrow....again

So it will be just me and this guy.

Oh, ya, and this little SugarBug!

I'm a little sad that the holidays are over. sniffle

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Years!

Welcome 2010
One of my top resolutions this year is to lose some weight. I know I didn't write that one down on my previous post, but it is something I want to do.

This morning I dusted off the scale and decided to have my moment of truth.

It wasn't as bad as I thought!