Monday, August 23, 2010

Breaking and Entering..........(For reals!)

On Thursday I was up at the crack-o'-dawn for another fun-filled day of illness, lacerations and broken parts.
I worked for 12 long hours!
When I got home I went with my neighbor to a Planning and Zoning hearing.
(I'm just trying to stay current with some neighborhood proposals.)
When I got home at 11:00 P.M. I found myself in a very uncomfortable predicament.

#1. My better half is still in Canada.
#2. My house and yard is DARK!
#3. I didn't take my cell phone to the P&Z meeting.
#4. I didn't take my purse or keys cuz I rode with my neighbor.
and finally...
#5. My doors are all locked!

I never lock my doors except when the better half is gone.

So here I am alone.
In the dark.
Locked out.
No phone.
After a LONG day.
Just for the record, I did NOT say a swear word.

So I did what any other insane person would do.
I cried.
I got the ladder out of the garage.
Went to the very back window.
Had a panic attack..........I'm terrified of heights, even if it's only two stories.

Had another panic attack.....I'm terrified of spiders and there might be spiders up there. (I loathe spiders!)

Had another panic attack......cuz what if I fall off the ladder and break something and no one finds me for days?

Had another panic attack thinking that my husband would have the nerve to get another wife after the funeral was over!!!!!

So weak-kneed I climbed to the top of the Empire State Building. (Ok I exaggerate a little.)
I really tried to take out the screen. Really.

I tried.

I broke a nail even.

I realized that the longer I stayed WAY UP THERE, the greater the chance I had of crashing to the ground.

I put my fist through the screen, slid open the window and somersaulted onto the guest bed.
I felt sorta like Harrison Ford.

It sorta felt good to bust a screen.

See, I told ya it was way up there!

My hubby got home and said he's gonna buy me a chain with my house key to wear around my neck.

Isn't he a giver?

On Friday evening I did some engagement photos for a gal I work with.
I was nervous, but I had a blast.

Does it get better than a wheat field?

I also sorta went camera crazy with this old homestead!
I loved it!
We did some fun pictures with the engaged couple here too.
Then on my way home I had to stop and take a few pictures of this:

Saturday we enjoyed a huge family reunion.
We were there honoring and celebrating my mother-in-laws 90th Birthday!
She's an amazing woman.

She lost her husband 31 years ago and has buried 4 of her 10 children.
She is strong, faithful and uplifting to anyone she is around.
Happy Birthday Mom!

I am now hoping for a boring week.
A warning to all icky stalkers and creepy people:
My hubby is home, we have a gun, I now lock my door and I know how to use sharp objects!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Friday the 13th {Egan Style}

Howie was in Canada last week.
That is NOT in my time zone.
Or zip code.
Speaking of zip code......what is with Canada's zip code? Trippy.
He planned to come home for the weekend.
Before he had to go back again.
To Canada.(and their weird zip code)

He missed his flight out of Toronto.
THEN when he finally got to Detroit they couldn't move the whatchamacallit that lets you off the plane what ever it's official name is. It took 25 minutes to deplane.
So when he tried to get on Flight 13-somethingorother in Gate 13 the plane was gone.
So he didn't get home until Saturday at 5:00 p.m.
Only to turn around and fly BACK to Canada at 11:00 on Sunday!
Oh, and it was my weekend in the ER
So for future reference:
Do NOT fly with an Egan if:
-It's Friday the 13th
-From Gate 13
-On flight 13-somethingorother.
You have been warned.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Dear Paramedics...............

When you come to the ER....


Leave your ambulance unattended
the KEYS in the ignition!

Cuz there may be a certain nurse looking
for an escape!

Just sayin'

Monday, August 9, 2010

The Skunk Whisperer

I've enjoyed a week with the family eating these:

Smelling like this:

And hanging out with these:

And trying to avoid these:

They visited the campsite one night and had ahold of a clear plastic thingy that had contained cupcakes.
My better half, desiring sleep stepped outside the camp trailer and had a conversation with a very cute baby skunk who was chewing on the clear plastic thingy.
He told the cute skunk that he was making a lot of noise and it needed to stop.
My lunatic better half then crouched down and took ahold of the clear plastic thingy and had a tug of war with Pepe Le'Pew.
The gray-haired Skunk Whisperer worked his magic and got the noisy plastic thingy away WITHOUT having to wear Le-Pew cologne.
I was ready to lock the trailer door and not allow the lunatic hubby entrance if that cute little skunk so much as lifted his tail in our direction.
"Sorry honey, but love is only so deep."
You may look like Indiana Jones but I don't do stink!
(I know that's shocking coming from an ER nurse.)

I will miss you little campers!!!