Monday, May 10, 2010

It happened AGAIN!

For 31 straight years another Mothers Day passed and I was NOTchosen as Mother of the Year yet again!

How is that possible?
I don't understand.
I had stretch marks (no, I will not take pictures and post them) , morning sickness, sleepless nights and years and years of homework. I even used cloth diapers! That alone should qualify me for awesomeness!

The focus of my campaign shall shift from my own spawn offspring to THEIR offspring.

As I was perusing pictures today I found some examples of my awesome mothering skillz.

After viewing these I'm sure you'll want to call the Nobel Peace Prize guy and submit my name.

Just today I got to babysit Miss Lexi.
"Great job with the piggytails grandma!"
Ya I used to be a hairdresser....B.C. (before children)
Little did I know that I would be using those awesome skillz all these years later!
"Lexi why are you crying?" Oh....hold that pose while I grab the camera!"

OH chill! Sheesh, notice that she's at the top of the stairs, only the tricycle went down the stairs.
What happened to the piggytails?

Ya, I know she's holding some poisonious weed killer, but what happened to the piggy tails?

Lexi I'm sure would rather play with dolls, but when she's at my house....well, we're all about the matches.
And today isn't the only time I've shown off my great parenting or grandparenting skills either.
There was also this time last summer:

industrial sized tylenol and motrin

Cuz I'm a nurse and I'm all about SAFETY and injury PREVENTION!
Serene and Laura I'm sure you're about to reconsider allowing me to watch your little ones. I know I would be.

Now if ya'll will excuse me, Lexi is down for a nap and I'm going to go write a letter to the Nobel Peace Prize guy.


LKP said...

lol! you always brighten my day!!! how do you do it? like you don't even have to put effort into it. you. are. amazing.
here's your prize: THE BIGGEST BLOG HUG EVER FROM ME!!!!!

Kristina P. said...

You would get the Mom of the Year award from me!

Valerie said...

Are you sure you didn't win this year? I think you should demand a recount...
At least you are working hard on next year's nomination!:)
Funny post! Great start for the week. :)

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

ARe you kidding??? I'd be happy to drop them off at your house right now!

As long as you've got industrial sized tylenol and a pack of matches, hey, I'm good!

Besides, I can NEVER get Savannah's pigtails to look that good! Could you stop by every morning and do them for me before she takes off for school?


And I'll be sure to submit your name for Mother of the Year next time. And I'll request the award is an image of a cloth diaper... made out of crystal of course.

kado! said...

Cloth diapers?

That alone gives you Mother of the Decade nods! totally!

If I have any more kids...I wanna try cloth you'll have to give me the insider tips when and if that happens!!!

hope you had the Best Mother's Day!

M-Cat said...

You are my mothering idol for crying out loud! Today I got "looks" for suggesting to a coworker that she enlist the aid of benadryl with her 3 year old on the plane. What's wrong with that? My boys are alive today because of Benadryl

Julie Harward said... funny! You should win it for this funny post alone! Hey, I used cloth diapers too..the true test of Mothering! These are little cuties for sure. Come say hi :D

Lisa said...

your grandkids are so stinking cute.

Just Breathe said...

Sorry you didn't win! This was a fun post, thanks for the laughs.

Laura said...

Um, you're making me hyperventilate.

Poisonous weed killer?

Really, Tauna? ;)

Well, I don't let me kids handle poisonous substances or drugs, but I'm pretty sure I could also write a post about all the reasons why I too was not elected mother of the year. But then my indiscretions would be confessed on public record and I don't know if that's the best idea.

Although if no one is coming after you for this, I probably needn't be too worried. ;)

Ha ha.

Beth at Aunties said...

Thanks for the BIG smile!
I agree with you all of us who used the cloth diapers deserved, "Mother of the Year!" Thank goodness diaper pails are a thing of the past!!!
HA! I just read Kado's comments...lets just say there is alot of rinsing out those things in the toliet!
Great post and adorable grandloves!

Yvonne said...

You are too funny. Seriously--you have my vote.

gigi said...

The Nobel Peace Prize guy is SO FIRED!!! But maybe it got lost in the mail and it will show up in next weeks mail, let's give him the benefit of the doubt ;)

We have that same Tricycle and Miss Lexi's ponytail's are so perfect! You are good, gurl! I'm alway's impressed when you WOW us with all your hidden talents!

What chu talkin bout Willis, poisonious weed killer and matches go together like Kids and dirt!! You;re a Rockin GRANDma!

Kimmie said...

Tauna, Oh crack me up and make me laugh!

You should write a humor column for the newspaper. Your wity and clever sense of writing style is AWESOME!!

You are SO much fun and what a joy it is to know you. Also you are one amazing mom AND Grandma. So fun you got to watch your grandkids.

Your little grandson reminds me of your kids when they were young.

SO HAPPY that Howard is home. I told him today that I'm sure Tauna is happy you're finally home and he said..."She was happy for the first 15 minutes".

You guys are such a funny couple. Hope your Monday has been a fun and happy one and thank you once again for putting SMILE on my face!

Barbaloot said...

Anyone that ever used cloth diapers is a saint. You should qualify for Mother of the Year/What Were You Thinking Award easy.

Ann Marie said...

Lol.. Oh you ARE too funny!
I can just see it.. " Here Lexi.. hold these MATCHES so Grandma can take a picture for her blog.. lol!

You DO deserve an award.. I bet you could give me a shot with one hand and french braid my hair with the other.. :)

Mikki said...

I see no reason why you shouldn't be nominated Mother of the year!! You should have been here today as I was yelling and screaming at my kids. Now that is mom of the year material!

Scrappy Girl said...

Mother of the Year passed me by again too...I think our ratio of dinners by me and dinner by McDonalds was off by just a

JoAnn said...

Still, still, still giggling. You are hilarious -- You should take over for Leno (maybe for just 6 months -- then get bought off for $44 mil. That'd be cool.)

You have inspired yet another nickname for yer cute self -- MOTY (mother o' the year).

Thank you, MOTY. You are inspirationalizationisticalalalal!

Braden said...

If Serene ditches you, you could watch my kids. I think it's good to expose them to some things they'll face later on at an early age.

Controlling My Chaos said...

It looks to me like you're trying to get out of some future babysitting jobs. Wink, wink. :)

Happy belated Mother's Day!

Homer and Queen said...

Oh please! Get behind me sugar!I am soooo Mother of the Year material! WB is in the hosptital so I have no time to post but I WILL aknowledge my award!hehehe I hate mothers day and this year weas the worst!

Lisa Loo said...

Yeah, my Mothers Day post was very similar. My parenting skillz run along the lines if they are still alive and no blood is gushing--we've had a good day.

Connie said...

Maybe next year!
Love those pigtails! Too bad they only last as long as it takes to strike a match!

Funny lady!

Cherie said...

Good job with the matches Tauna! Isn't that the way we teach the kids that camping is fun?
You get MOTY in my book!!!!
PS Cloth diapers are the devil! They are evil and stinky - you are a saint!!

Camille said...

You crack me up! Mother of the Year NEXT YEAR! I'll vote for you :)

wendy said...

Well, that is the biggest bunch of baloney every ---OF COURSE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN MOTHER OF THE YEAR!!
allowing kids to practice their super sports like riding bikes down stairs
and teaching them fire safety --
and drug prevention/abuse

YOU are my model.

Lesa said...

Coming to say hi via Lisa @ Pulsipher Page..

Thanks for a good laugh today!

Looks like you have a lot of fun in life!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Super cuties!!!