Friday, July 16, 2010

Reality {BITES!}

I'm back.
It was a ton of fun!

I went to Hobby Lobby in Minnesota.
I'm officially in love.

I did NOT go to the Mall of America.
I would rather chew on my toenails.

I don't love crowds.
I loathe shopping.

I managed to get on the plane with my carry-on in my purse and a scalpel.
You can click here if you want to see my awesome Ninja scalpel.
I'm not sure why I carry a scalpel in my purse.
I forgot it was there.
Airport security woman PAWED through my purse thank goodness there weren't any woman things.
Sent my purse through the X Ray Vision and said
"have a nice flight"
It wasn't until that night when I'm looking for my eyedrops that I find the scalpel.
(Doesn't everyone keep their eyedrops next to the scalpel?
I'm surprised I didn't find myself in GITMO!
I decided that I should toss the scalpel.
I'm not one to push my luck or anything.
Good thing too! On the flight home CRANKY security checker-inner-person took me down and told me to assume the position!
(OK I exaggerate a little
But I had to be frisked.
Then I had another person tell me to step to the side and keep my hands off my purse!
True story!
It seems that I had 2 ounces of water too much to be allowed on the plane.
Go figure.
Other than my near-miss of being the next "Most Wanted" it was a great time.

I got to see some of this:

Warning: Do NOT click on the picture to enlarge it if you DON'T want to see crack! Just sayin'
I don't understand the need to wear lowriders. But that's just me.

There was beautiful scenery. EVERYTHING was so green!
I tried to get a picture of the fireflies but no luck.
I'm obsessed with fireflies.
I'm embarassed to say that until about 7 years ago I thought they were a fairy tale.

Got home Tuesday night and turned around and went to Salt Lake with my oldest to take some kids to Lagoon. (No, I didn't go to Lagoon...crowds remember?)
I hung out with my son and his family in their backyard watching the cutest grandkids on earth play in the pool.

Home late Thursday night and ER duty today. Don't want reality yet.


Kristina P. said...

I'm glad they focused on the important things, like water, and not an instrument that can slice someone's throat.

Cluttered Brain said...

Ahh! I am glad you had a fun time!
Minus the crack picture!

I don't like the reality of WORK either..

Cherie said...

I don't know whether to laugh or to be totally disgusted that they did not find the scalpel. Not that I wanted you to get in trouble but SRSLY - we all have to go through the frisking and the shoes off...for freakin' what??? So they can miss scalpels and "pull someone over" for water?
Would have been totally funny if you pulled the scalpel out while they were giving you the crap about the water - ha ha. Can you just imagine. Oh my gosh.
Hey we have a Hobby Lobby here a mile from my house if you ever want to go :D
So glad you had fun!

Lisa said...

Okay, first of all, I TOTALLY clicked to see crack. That's just who I am. Second, WATER vs. SCALPEL...bureaucracy in action. Third, if you wanted some more crack, Lagoon would have been the perfect place to find it...but then, there's always Walmart. Glad you're back. :)

Life is good! said...

we flew to denver in may and they confiscated my spray deodorant. i guess they were afraid i would spray it in the pilots eyes and high jack the plane. but i was able to get my scissors on! go figure.

Connie said...

You should have carved your name in the seat with that illegal scalpel! It's a good thing they didn't let you on with that extra water! You may have occupied the bathroom too many times!

Good you had fun! Too bad about the work schedule! You could have hung out longer with those darn cute grandkids!

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...

I too hate the mall. And now I have scapel envy.

Julie Harward said...

Thats a funny story...I am so glad they didn't lock you up! LOL I am glad you are having fun! :D

Krista said...

Funny you got frisked! On our way back from Oz, my husband got stopped twice by security. On our third leg of security my son was way ahead and asked the security guard to stop Jared again just for good measure. I love that he has my sense of humor! Yeah, why were you carrying a scalpel?

Krista said...

Oooooo! I want one! Never know when I need a piece of gum.

Beth at Aunties said...

WHAT!!! They did not see a scalpel? That just too CRAZY, but soo lucky for you. What are they looking for if a sharp device to slice open or harm another human being does not count???

Lisa's comment about Walmart plain 'crack'ed me up!
I am glad you got to see your cute grandkids and we have a Hobby Lobby close by... and I would love to meet you there sometime!:)

JoAnn said...

Funny thing -- everytime I fly when I'm preggers or happen to have a cast on (hmmmm.), I get a free massage at airport security. At least that's what I call it. And when I ask them to apply a little more pressure on the left, the security folk do not crack a smile. Hmmmmm.... they're too busy lookin' for water bandits. Sheesh. P.S. Welcome home! :D

Scrappy Girl said...

"loathe shopping" are we friends? LOL

That plane story makes me really look forward to my flight to see Lil Sis in October. I guess I can pack my super sharp scrappy scissors, but I will be sure to leave my liquid glitter at home...heehee.

That crack is gross...those pants drive me NUTS!

Sherrie said...

I'm right there with you in hating crowds and hating to shop. Glad you made it back all in tact and everything. Reality does bite doesn't it?

Kazzy said...

I love shopping, but I won't hold your loathing of it against you. LOL

Getting away for a bit is soooo therapeutic. I need a vacay so bad I can hardly stand it!

Glad you are home safe!

gigi said...

Have gun will travel. Have scalpel will travel. I carry a gun, but not to airports of course. We'd make a great team.
How lucky that you got felt up at the airport. I missed that the last time I flew :(
Hey they make nail clippers now! No need to chew your toenails any more. You want me to send you a pair??

Lagoon yuck! Watching the cutest grandkids on earth play in the pool, priceless!

Sorry you had to go back to the hospital but Hobby Lobby is the bomb!!

Mary Z said...

I had carried a little tiny sewing scissors with me for 100's of flights. I fly a lot. In Lima Peru some schmuck took them, dangled them in front of my face and with a grin tossed them into a large container full of terrorist tools taken from Grandmas like me. I had made every Grandchild's receiving blankets with those scissors. He made me teary. Oh and when I lived in Minnesota as a youngster we used to catch those cute bugs, take the glow light off of them, put them on our fingers and flash our glow rings. I am still feeling kind of bad about that. Oh and I need to take you shopping. I can teach you a thing or two. Now why have I shared the most intimate details of my life with you in this comment?

Momza said...

glad u are home safely, and that you got to see your beautiful grandchildren!

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Fun to read your post!
I live 2 hours from the Twin Cities in Western Wisconsin. We head up there often. It is so green here right now, it almost looks fake!
The Mall of America is fun but your right there are crowds!

The American Homemaker said...

we're doing Lagoon next month when my kiddos get home.

aren't airport security people weird?

LKP said...

glad the security experiences weren't swapped in their timing. as is with the 2nd security team/s BEFORE you realized you had a scalpel & pitched it. lol! =)
you certainly live on the edge, woman.

Nana said...

I don't blame you for not wanting to come back to reality. Let me see you got busted for water but, they missed the scalpel? I feel great about our Home Land Security.

My hubby says try Minnasota in the winter then tell us how much you love it. ha ha ha.

Garden of Egan said...

Nana, I live in Rexburg.

Minnesota doesn't scare me.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Honey you are so funny and very entertaining. I love your way with words. To think they missed that in your purse is scary as all get out. Glad you did not take it home with you.
Sounds like a perfect trip. I am not into crowds anymore myself. Been on this ole farm to long now I suppose.
Would love to take a trip somewhere before I return to work but doubt I will be lucky enough but you never know.
The best part I read was your spending the evening with your babies. I so would love to do that
Love ya

M-Cat said...

I'm still processing the whole "chew my own toenails" Can you really do that? If so, I demand to see it!

And remind me to tell you the story of the pocket knives in the luggage as we tried to go to Cancun. You are lucky you didn't end up in Gitmo!

Alhough, I would come and visit

Camille said...

I love that you carry a scalpel in your purse! (even without going through security).

Glad you had a great time!

Mikki said...

aw, welcome home!
Yeah, that's kind of crazy about the water. I second Kristina's comment.
I've never been to a Hobby Lobby before, but I saw that they're opening one soon close to our new apartment, so I KNOW I'll be checking it out.
Sorry you had to go back to work, that's never fun in my book.

Yvonne said...

Didn't find a scalpel--WOW. I get stopped for nail clippers--must be my less than friendly looking face ; )

Minnesota is not that far from me, you know. (Well, that is if I was home ; )

Glad you had such a great time.

I can't believe all the cracks I've seen in Cali--goodness.

Small House said...

The fact that you carry a scalpel makes me laugh. I should look into that. However, I don't know how to use one, you do! Wouldn't they let you take a sip of the water so you could carry it on??? Hmmmm.....

Glad you had a good time. I love Lagoon, as long as I don't have to ride on anything. I like to sit in a corner and watch the people.

Butt crack....I'm with you on the low riders.

Barbaloot said...

Welcome back! Careful with that water----somehow it can turn into a dangerous weapon? I had security freak out once cuz my hair brush had a button that would make it vibrate. They could not figure it out.

Anonymous said...

I am SO upset. . .I live 20 minutes from Mall of America! We were in the same area and I didn't know! I TOTALLY would have wanted to see you! We could have done lunch. . .I am SO bumbed!

wendy said...

Of course as soon as I here if you want to see butt crack....I DID!! What is even funnier is that you took a picture of it. Then you should have showed here and told her she was going on your blog.
um....can't they feel a breeze.

I am getting so I like crowds less and less now too. Must be all this isolation getting to me. The fun thng about crowds is people watching....and butt crack.

I HATE, LOATHE, airports and flying. Especially having to go back and forth from Canada to U.S.
CUSTOMS SUCKS!! (had to say that) They get so pissy (had to say that) about the stupidest stuff.
One time when coming back to Canada , going through customs, they asked me where I was going....I told them....they said who are you seeing....I said a friend....they asked girl or boy?? WHAT DOES IT MATTER.

I am glad you had a good time with hubby and a vacation. You need to email me your phone #....but don't use my gmail account....use my

I think it is good to carry a scalpel around........

wendy said...

OH....and for your Indian Name


Just Breathe said...

So much for home security !
I haven't seen fireflies in a long time. Love them.

Kim said...

Oooo, would we have fun!!! Plus, I think reality also bites!

See Mom Smile said...

Remind me to fly with you next time so I can bring my machete. (I yes I had to enlarge the picture because you told me not to).

tammy said...

I don't do crowds either and I am addicted to Hobby Lobby.

Feel sorry for my husband, he has to deal with airport security every week, and even though he's in his pilot uniform and going to work, they still have to search him sometimes. He fights the urge to tell them if he really wanted to take the airplane down, he wouldn't need a bomb. Duh!

Charlotte said...

We used to go up there all the time when my husband's sister was there. We had the same problem with security. Apparently Boston was okay with two golf clubs in a carryon bag flying out, but Utah said it was absolutely a no-no coming back. I might could see missing a scalpel (Not really, but it is small), but 2 gigantic golf clubs crisscrossed in the bag? How does one miss that in the scanner?