Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Just a few NURSELY tips to pass along.

#10 Give yourself plenty of time to arrive over the river and through the woods.
(Of course all of the occupants in the vehicle are seat-belted in and the driver is NOT allowed to text)

#9 Think of that knife as a carving tool. It carves....stuff.
'nuff said.

#8 Take a baby aspirin everyday. (I'm serious)
It's good for your heart.

#7 If you haven't been off the couch for the last 12 months and think that you are up to playing football with the nephews and grandsons after eating massive amounts of dinner....think again.

#6 On that same note...if there is a lot of heavy snow coming down and you think you want to go out and shovel the driveway cuz-you-need-to-have-a-break-from-the-noise-and-chaos inside....think again.

#5 Chew your food 1000 times before swallowing. (you heard me right)

#4 The stove is hot. No double-dog dares to see how long you can keep your hand on it.

#3 Consider the lid of the green bean can a weapon. You know what I'm talking about don't ya?

#2 Have some immodium, tylenol, earache medicine, Motrin AND gas X on hand. Most stores are closed and the ER has them, but you will probably have a long wait because of all the other above mentioned STUFF. And your need for gas X doesn't trump someone who only chewed their food 999 times, no matter how differently you feel about it.

.....Keep cold foods cold and hot foods hot.
Get that turkey off the bone and in the fridge before the dishes get cleared.

I'll be working all day on Thanksgiving.
I don't wanna see ya there!
BUT, you are more than welcome to have a bite with us on the day after, we'll be celebrating that day. There will be so many of us that I won't notice another couple of dozen.

And while I'm thinking about the things that I'm grateful for.
It was freezing cold here last night.
Bitter cold.
I'm thankful for my HOT hubs!
My feet are always cold.


blueviolet said...

Sorry that you'll be working all day, but I'm glad you'll make up for it the day after!

I'm heeding all of your advice here. :)

TheOneTrueSue said...

I'm so glad I read this post before I attempted to carve my turkey with a spork.

That was a CLOSE ONE.

mCat said...

LOL - Since you see it all, it stands to reason that you should give us all due warning.

And with the food nazi that I like to call Splenda? Believe you me - the hot foods are kept hot and the cold food are kept cold and NOTHING is debatable.

Although I think dinner at church with a million kids running around and BB played on the other end is COMPLETELY sacriligous. Why yes, I AM bitter.

Barbaloot said...

Should we really take baby aspirin every day? I have a serious aversion to swallowing pills...

I'm sorry you have to work. I hope you have a wonderful Friday!!

Ann Marie said...

I feel so GRATEFUL today that I know a Nurse! :)
( That could be a bumper sticker -haha )

Seriously? Being a hypocondriac.. I am so starting the baby asprin thing today!

~ And ya.. keeping hot foods hot and cold.. cold.. I am probably more ANAL about this than anyone. For reals.

Sorry you have to work on Thanksgiving. I hope you are extra blessed for your efforts!!

PS: I have cold feet too.. LOVE the cartoon!!

Kristina P. said...

I'm sure you see stuffing up other people's cavities.

Cherie said...

I hope you see more people who need Gas X than those who are trying to commit Harri Karri with the lid of the green bean can on Thanksgiving!!
Have a fantastic Thanksgiving on Friday!!

Cherie said...

I hope you see more people who need Gas X than those who are trying to commit Harri Karri with the lid of the green bean can on Thanksgiving!!
Have a fantastic Thanksgiving on Friday!!

Julie Harward said...

LOL Loved the hot husband thing, mine is a hot one too, love it. That #5, how can anyone do that, too much self control for me! Happy Thanksgiving, loved the tips! :D

Kerin said...

Oh you crack me up !!

Thanks for the humorous take,and the dose of reality about Thanksgiving!!

We do take our baby asprin every day. Guess time will tell if it works :)

We'll be celebrating Friday too, and eating after we get our work out in; black Friday sales ya know.

Have a great week. Hopefully nothing too tragic will happen, and hopefully you'll stay warm :)

just call me jo said...

You are so wise and helpful. I am thankful for you. I am. It's a bit chilly here (75 degrees in the day.) Don't you hate that! Though I can't get in any holiday spirit. (But I think that's just me, not the weather.) Warm hugs and dunk those toes in that hot tub. Enjoy your Friday Thankful Day.

Momza said...

I am linking this up to my FB--excellent common sense stuff here, Tauna! Thanks!!

~Wyatt~Brittney~Brecken~Oliver~ said...

oh i love how you make me laugh!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the tips!

I wish you guys a safe and happy day after Thanksgiving!

I'm very thankful to have met you through blogging. You are a bright spot in my day!

gigi said...

Doesn't the nurse have a Hot Water Bottle for her cold feet? Those feet in the back of the hot husband must sound like a sizzling good time!

Happy day after Thanksgiving for you and your sweet family!

You keep the peace in the ER!

LKP said...

hahahahahaha - such wisdom! :) love ya. happy turkey-day & day-after-turkey-day! ::hugs::

Barb said...

I loved your top 10 list!! You can bet that I will not be out playing football with anyone - but I might (will) put my cold feet on my hubby's warm toes!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving - I'm sure that you will be very appreciated at the ER . . . handing out Gas X!


Ginger said...

1,000 times! Wow! That's a lot! haha... I'm such a fast eater... I usually swallow my food whole. :) (okay, not really... but only chewing it 8 to 10 times is pretty close to whole). I have seriously poor eating habits!

I'm sorry you have to work on Thanksgiving day, but I'm so glad you are! It would NOT be a good thing if hospitals were closed that day!

StitchinByTheLake said...

I love your list - and yes, I take a baby aspirin every day. Two. Have been cut by the green bean lid, run over by the football playing nuts, and supplied multiple medications to children and grandchildren on more occasions than I choose to count. I'll say a prayer for you Thanksgiving Day. :) blessings, marlene

Connie said...

About #5...I don't even chew my gum 1000 times! I guess I'll be seeing you in the ER. I'm sure our ambulance here in SF would gladly take me to your hospital!
Thanks for the sage advice. Hope you'll let us know how things go on Thanksgiving Day at the ER. Maybe it will be really quiet...zzzzz.

Nezzy said...

I sleep in sock year round...drives Hubs nuts!!! Heeehehehe :o)

Loved your advice sweetie...better than David Letterman.

God bless ya and have a beautiful day after Thanksgiving with your family.

If ya get a chance (like your not busy) pop on over and enter my giveaway. Woohoo!!! :o)

wendy said...

OH MY GOSH TAUNA...you need to call David Lettermen so he can put that on his show as HIS top 10
I'll wait
call him...........you can find his # somewhere
ok.....ladedah...I'm waiting.
OK..NOW I NO it'll be on his show tonight or tomorrow.
You are so dang funny!!!!

sorry about having to work on thanksgiving, but that allows me to sneak in the day after and make a pig of myself (wish)

This is my off year to spend Thanksgiving with the kids. Kinda sucks.
Some people don't like that word (sucks)...but I think it packs a punch. HEY, there are worser words out there.
love ya

Yvonne said...

Great list. (Seriously, should I really take a baby aspirin every day. My hubby takes a regular aspirin, but I always thought that was if you have heart problems?)

I never chew my food 1,000 times ; (

Yvonne said...


Debby@Just Breathe said...

Fun post. That's for the great words of wisdom. I recently got a new can opener (smooth edges) because I have been scared of those lids for years!
Happy Thanksgiving.

Connie said...

Great advice, especially from a pro like you. I'll bet you have seen all kinds of craziness in the ER over the years so I am sure you know what you're talking about. Love the Imodium and Gas X tip.

Hope you have a wonderful day-after-Thanksgiving feast. (If I lived closer I might be one of those extras you were talking about, teehee!!!

tammy said...

I almost accidentally committed suicide on a tin can once. Those things are dangerous! Made me want to give up eating green beans.

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Great tips! So funny, yet not so funny. I'm like Tammy I learned your green bean can tip the hard way and sliced three of my fingers one day. I am now so careful.

Hopefully Thanksgiving will be a slow day where you work.

lifeinredshoes said...

1000 times, really? Isn't it dust by then?
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, what a blessing you are :)

Valerie said...

Hope you have an uneventful Thanksgiving in the ER, and a wonderful time celebrating with your family.
If I ever need to be taken to the ER...I'm demanding to go to your hospital!!! ;)

Kazzy said...

I am so glad to know I am not the only one that puts her cold feet on her hot hubby's back!!

And thanks for the tips. I have been thinking about the baby aspirin thing.

Queenie Jeannie said...

I hope the ER was not too bad for you (and the victims!!!). Happy Turkey Day...a few days late!

LOVED the cartoon....that is so me, as well!