Friday, September 27, 2013

NOT SURE HOW IT TURNS OUT

Life has been crazy.
Wild.
Upside down.
It's not bad.
Just different.

And I'm not sure how it turns out.

But then, do we ever?
Probably not.
There are twists and turns
and hiccups
all along the way.

Back in February our oldest daughter came home.
With our 5 year old granddaughter.
We don't know for how long.
But we love having them here.

Then in June we added to the craziness.

Candice and Tyler moved in for a short time.
To help them get to a better place.
I'm thankful we have the room.
We enjoy them here as well.

I was talking with a friend at work about the challenges this has presented, but how we feel blessed to be able to help.
A co-worker piped in and said she would never let her kids move back in.
When they are grown up they make grown up decisions and suffer grown up consequences.
I felt bad and "less than" for a time. 
Then I realized, no one really knows.

It's been challenging for both of our daughters to be "back home".
Same neighborhood.
Same church.
Same town.
There have been a few occasions when hurtful things have been said.
When hearts are raw.
On the other hand,
there has been a lot of love and compassion and
reaching out to heal raw hearts.

I don't feel that we are enabling our kids.
We are doing what we feel we can to help get them to a better place.
And we feel strongly that we are doing the right thing....
for our family.

We really don't know the challenges we have ahead of us.
We do the best we can and have faith that the Lord makes up the difference.
Does anyone really know how things will turn out.
We don't have the right or ability to judge another.

In the meantime.
We are having a good time.
A busy time.

I get to snuggle with this little sweetheart.
And enjoy her ridiculously hilarious personality.
And just the other night I heard a commotion I hadn't heard before.
From Lynsey's room.

I had to investigate.
And it brought tears to my eyes.

It's nearly midnight and these two are giggling and who knows what all.
That may be normal for some.
But there is 12 years difference between these two.

Candice was the pesty baby sister.
And they weren't close.
Lynsey was married by the time Candice was out of grade school.

So this scene was like the best thing ever.
In the midst of this craziness....
there is joy.


32 comments:

Nancy Face said...

So sweet!

jen said...

I'm glad you're doing what is best for your family--which would be a different story for a different group. And the time for sisters to bond is the icing on the cake.

Stay strong!! I know winter is coming . . . :)

Lesa said...

Love this post!

Sondra Murray said...

Awe! I agree families help support families in a healthy manner. Of course if it becomes a pattern, that is when you have to know the difference between co-dependency and enabling bad behavior. It's important to continue to be there and support your children - it's a life long commitment. I love that your daughters are getting close and giggling at midnight. I have the 10 years apart with my boys and love it when I find them having a great time together despite the age difference. I say - enjoy the journey - every moment of being together under one roof. You are an awesome mom. Also, too bad there have been bad behavior from members (always a sad thing - shaking head).

gigi said...

Wonderful post. No one walks in your shoes but you! Loves!

Nikki Thomas @ Furry Bottoms said...

You can't make decisions like this based on other families. Your heart let them back in, and it was for a good reason. I would let my kids back (if I had any) because gosh, a lot of parents nowdays don't see their kids AT ALL. And you do get to enjoy those little girls while they're there. I say its a win win for you.

Yes, adults need to learn to deal with adult consequences, however, todays consequences are nowhere near anything like 5 year ago's consequences. The economy. The job market. I am grateful to my mother because I could never live on my own even tho I have a job. The cost of living is triple the pay I get. I work hard, should I live on the streets for working hard? It's just different than it used to be. Nothing is balanced right anymore.

RoeH said...

My kids are welcome back any time that they want to or need to. But I have a secret. I also know that neither one of them will ever do that. Nope. Not ever. :)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I'm living in the "Not sure how it turns out" phase myself right now. If you remember our daughter and son in law moved in over 3 1/2 years ago. Right now they are separated and it's not looking good. Our daughter is hurting. No you are not enabling them, this is what parents do. Praying that everything turn out wonderful for your girls and I know having your granddaughter around is a huge blessing for you. ((HUGS))

Julia said...

Aww, that all what families is all about, in good time and in bad time.

Wishing everyone all the best.
Hugs,
JB



Deb said...

They come and grow and then they go and come back. We have been there too and who knows what the future holds. So nice that your girls get along and you get to spend so much quality time with your grand daughter. Have a good weekend.

Lisa @ Pulsipher Page said...

A couple years into our marriage with 3 babies in tow we moved in with my mom while my husband finished school. It was a great blessing. Our 4th child was even born there, in the same hospital I was. Families help each other with life's ups and downs!

Ginger said...

Maybe that's why they are meant to be in your home right now - so they can become friends.

I've always said I wouldn't let my grown kids move back home either, but as my kids get older, I realize there are always extenuating circumstances and I should never say never. Our kids are always our kids and we never stop trying the best we can to help them along the path. You are good parents who love your kids. If all "kids", grown or not, could have that, we would be a much better world, wouldn't we? Love you Tauna!

MZ said...

All of our kids have moved in with us at one time or another for various reasons. It is challenging but we bonded with their spouses and their children in a way that cannot happen any other way. And I discovered what great cooks they all are! You will not regret having them. There may be days you are ready for them to move out but you will be sad the day that they finally do just for a moment.

Connie said...

They are so fortunate to have a soft place to land with you. They will figure life out and be on their way and you will be thankful to watch them grow new wings.

Kirsten said...

I know that we've been told by various apostles that as grandparents, our responsibility to our children and grandchildren is NOT over! You're proving that! You're a wonderful mother and grandmother! Embrace it because time goes by SO fast!

Blackberry Lane said...

Yes, you are doing the right thing. We never know the challenges that others face. I am so thankful that my parents supported/loved me when things were tough. The world would be a kinder place if we all treated each other with love, compassion and understanding and less judgement. God bless you all. What wonderful blessings you are receiving by having this time together.

Betty said...

You are a wonderful mama married to a wonderful daddy. Of course you will welcome your children back with open arms! You do that because they're your children and you love them. While I always say I won't let Aly & Josh move back in, I know without a doubt, I will. Yes, it's hard, very hard, but whoever said parenting is easy... Even when our kids are grown up?
Besides, that little 5 year old is DARLING and entertains me mightily when you post her goofy vids on FB.

Kerin said...

I admire you, and your decision to show your children unconditional love.

That's what this life is all about.... families.

Smile, enjoy the little things, and have a great day!

{p.s. I'm blogging again, and loving it!}

StitchinByTheLake said...

I cannot tell you how much I admire you and truly feel your joy/pain. We have three children. Both of our girls have, in earlier days, moved back in with us with their children. We hated the circumstances that brought that about but loved the time we had with them. God is love. Love shares, has compassion, nourishes, and embraces. For some the answer may be to shut out and force others to "grow up" but for us that wasn't the right path. You are on a journey that will be short relatively speaking but filled with great memories. Don't let others make you feel "less than." Let their words make you stronger with His love. blessings, marlene

Ann Marie said...

I just love you.
Love your unconditional love for your children.. and admire you for doing hard things -- like primary.. even though it may not be your dream job.

I'm soo grateful we are friends.

Mikki said...

Things always turn out ok, cause we have you know who on our side. :)

So glad you are doing what's best for your family. That's what people do, and that's what family is all about. Don't let anybody make you feel less than about it. :)
Enjoy this time together. I'm sure it's a blessing. :)

CB said...

I love this! I think you always do what is best for your children no matter what their age. They are always your babies and if parents aren't there to help their kids - who will be? And the perks and extras are the added blessings! You are an exceptional mama and grandma.

Barb said...

Life sure does throw us some curve balls once in a while!

I think it's wonderful that you are there for your kids when they need you. I think it's crazy that someone would think that you should abandon them, just because they are old enough to be on their own! I still depend on my mom for a little nurturing now and then, and she's 86!

Your a wonderful mom and a great example!

Gentle Hugs,
Barb

just call me jo said...

Hi, sweet friend. Wow, you've had quite an interesting time of it lately. You handle it much better than I would. You're so patient. I'm back to blog world for now. Fall in the 'Berg is beautiful. I hope you enjoy it. I will return again.

magscorner said...

Every individual situations is different. I try to never judge anyone for the choices they make because I have never walked in their shoes.

I have had to make decisions concerning our children I didn't think I ever would but it turned out that the decisions were right. We can only hope, pray and follow our gut feelings as to what we should do. I also believe everything happens for a reason and I would bet some really nice things come of all of what you are experiencing right now. Some already has, your girls are enjoying being together and you are enjoying that adorable little GD.

Only you and Howie are in the position to know what is best for you and your family so go for it and don't let the negative comments keep you from doing what you feel is right.

Leaving you lots of hugs sweet Tauna

tammy said...

You're a great mom and it's wonderful you're able to help. I'm never letting my kids move back home, mostly because I'm never letting them move out in the first place.

AiringMyDirtyLaundry said...

Aw, I'm so glad your girls are so close!

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Hi honey
You have been on my mind all day so I had to come by and check on you.
Don't ever second guess your letting the girls come home. Times are tough all over and I think sometimes as a parent you have to open your arms and home for your kids if they need you. Christi came back home for a short time last year and I loved having her. So enjoy your time with them and to heck with the ones who don't understand. Their hearts are not like ours
Love
Maggie

renée @ Singing With Birds said...

It works for many other cultures and I applaud you for making it work for YOUR FAMILY! I love living in America where we can all do what works for us. There's a lot of things I miss about your town. That is not one of them! Hang in there...

Valerie said...

No one knows what is best for your family. How wonderful that you can bond and have good moments.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Wow. Right now I'm doing the opposite. I have my parents staying with us while they try to get a house!

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