My car is from Satan

Yes, I said Satan.
Not Santa.
My better half left last week for the first of many trips that will happen this year. Boo!
It seems like everytime he leaves something breaks or gets clogged or leaks in the house.
One time it was potato peelings vs. garbage disposal. He was gone. What do I do? Call the neighbors?
Nah, that won't work. They call him. He's installed water heaters, dishwashers, that sort of thing for the neighbors.
He's the jack-of-all-trades.
A do-it-yourselfer.
When our youngest was 3 years old, she was watching him do some house project and said, "he's the fixer-man."
We've had car troubles, pipe leaks all kinds of stuff go wrong. It seems to happen when he's gone.
Did I mention we would frequently have car troubles...
a lot.
A few years ago, I woke up early in the morning to get ready for work.
My better half was out of town again.
I walked a few steps into the hall and stepped in a deep pile of water.
From the washing machine.
That's it!
That's the last straw!
All by myself, I went to an appliance store and bought a new washer and dryer!
It felt good!
It was in and working by the time he returned from that business trip.
I told him that from now on if he's gone and something breaks I'm getting a new whatever.
A few months later he was on another business trip.
Guess what broke???!!!
The carpet!
Yes, it's true.
My carpet was broken!
So I went and bought new carpet. He was fine with that, it was money I had saved. The bad part...
I had to wait until he had time to lay it.
I'm such a slave driver
Now for our ongoing latest nightmare.
Our car.
Our car is a lemon.
It's a lemon grove.
It's the lemon of all lemons.
It's the Martha Stewart of lemons.
He's fixed and repaired and babied this thing along for 6 years.
The lemon is paid for.
It's still a horrid, evil, hateful car!
Is there any question about how I feel about the car?
He returned from a business trip on Friday night about midnight.
He had car trouble..
at the airport...
it required a tow truck.
It's way past time to put the hunk of junk out of our misery!

Yes, that is my car.

(and yes, that is a real officer of the law...)
Not sure what he is going to decide to do to with car.
My hubby's attitude of "use it up, wear it out, fix it up or do without" has got to go! Honey, it's used up, worn out, been fixed up. I will do without.
Please for the love of all that is sane. Don't fix that (#*&$(#*^&)$&#
Can I live with one car?
Can I walk to work in the depths of winter?
The answer is YES!!!!
I don't want to spend one more red cent on that piece of %#$@&^%%
metal!
(Legal disclaimer:
Just so ya know, no cars were actually shot and permission was obtained from the higher ups to have an officer point a weapon at my car. No animals or Llamas were injured in the making of this post)